Life one year along...
May. 18th, 2011 03:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
pryderI was inspired to write something tonight after reading ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jducoeur 's latest entry on the State of the Justin. For me it's been longer; the first anniversary of Marian's death was last Friday (yep, Friday the 13th). I think I was over feeling broken by the end of the first month, and the most painful time was actually the final month of her life, not any time after.
Occasionally I think of the old John Mellencamp song about Jack and Diane; the one with the chorus that goes "Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone". Life does go on, but for me the thrill of living isn't gone. Life continues to be a journey of discovery, filled with loving friends and new things to learn.
Becoming Shirley has been an educational experience. First, there is all the stuff about living that I have to learn and unlearn; figuring out the new rules of social engagement that I'm living under now, not to mention all the basic stuff like grooming. (I enjoy being a girl, but I don't always enjoy becoming a girl. I suspect that most GGs -- genetic girls -- would agree.) There are also the insights about the human condition that you gain from looking at life from both sides now. (Or am I just recalling life's illusions?) Living as a woman changes a lot of basic human interactions, and I get to contrast those things before and after, and also how the interactions with people I already knew change and don't change.
I was one of the many women at the giveaway of Caitlin's clothing last weekend. I missed the opening bell -- both because of my own disinclination to get up early, and my awareness that my presence might be an issue for some of the other women, and therefore I chose to avoid the most crowded hours -- but still came away with a lot of useful things that filled more than an entire plastic storage bin. Being in the room full of dresses and skirts and blouses and suits and trying things on was fun; the women who were there at the time accepted my presence and life was good. I realized afterward that I should have taken the suit where the jacket fit well but the skirt was too big; I could have fixed that problem, and it might have been useful for interviews. (I'm likely to have that problem with most women's suits, because I've got big shoulders and not a lot of hip.) The things I did take include a couple of dresses, a skirt, a bunch of blouses (including a couple of linen ones), one fancy beaded top (which will be perfect for the dressup parties at Boskone - the outfits at those are all about glitz), a couple of dress jackets, a few casual shirts, a bunch of camisoles, some belts, a couple of purses and scarves, and one sweater. (There were LOTS of sweaters but I don't wear them often; the one I took was just too nice to resist, and a lovely forest green.) And one white jacket and skirt; I don't have the faintest idea when I might need such a wardrobe item, but when the time comes I'll be ready! I looked at the hats but they didn't fit, and I knew going in that the shoes weren't the right size.
The weekend after next will bring another new life experience; going to the wedding of the younger of Marian's granddaughters. The following weekend is another forjesse_in_boston The weddings will be interesting because there will be lots of people I don't know; the groom's family at the first one (I've met most of the bride's family on other occasions), both families at the second, plus friends who know them from social circles other than the ones I am in. I don't expect hostility, but I can't help wondering how accepted I will be... will I be included in the womens' gossip circles? Will the men ask me to dance? (I'm also open to invitations to dance with the women, but mostly weddings don't go that way.) I had to get advice on what to wear; fortunately I've already got some suitable dresses and shoes. (The stuff I got from Caitlin's collection included two dresses but neither are right for this occasion; either I missed the other ones that I would have liked or our taste in dresses was just too different. And I had to reject a couple because they didn't fit.) I could use a hat but that's a challenge; most women's hats are too small for my head. (Insert joke here about having a big head.)
jducoeur 's latest entry on the State of the Justin. For me it's been longer; the first anniversary of Marian's death was last Friday (yep, Friday the 13th). I think I was over feeling broken by the end of the first month, and the most painful time was actually the final month of her life, not any time after.Occasionally I think of the old John Mellencamp song about Jack and Diane; the one with the chorus that goes "Oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of living is gone". Life does go on, but for me the thrill of living isn't gone. Life continues to be a journey of discovery, filled with loving friends and new things to learn.
Becoming Shirley has been an educational experience. First, there is all the stuff about living that I have to learn and unlearn; figuring out the new rules of social engagement that I'm living under now, not to mention all the basic stuff like grooming. (I enjoy being a girl, but I don't always enjoy becoming a girl. I suspect that most GGs -- genetic girls -- would agree.) There are also the insights about the human condition that you gain from looking at life from both sides now. (Or am I just recalling life's illusions?) Living as a woman changes a lot of basic human interactions, and I get to contrast those things before and after, and also how the interactions with people I already knew change and don't change.
I was one of the many women at the giveaway of Caitlin's clothing last weekend. I missed the opening bell -- both because of my own disinclination to get up early, and my awareness that my presence might be an issue for some of the other women, and therefore I chose to avoid the most crowded hours -- but still came away with a lot of useful things that filled more than an entire plastic storage bin. Being in the room full of dresses and skirts and blouses and suits and trying things on was fun; the women who were there at the time accepted my presence and life was good. I realized afterward that I should have taken the suit where the jacket fit well but the skirt was too big; I could have fixed that problem, and it might have been useful for interviews. (I'm likely to have that problem with most women's suits, because I've got big shoulders and not a lot of hip.) The things I did take include a couple of dresses, a skirt, a bunch of blouses (including a couple of linen ones), one fancy beaded top (which will be perfect for the dressup parties at Boskone - the outfits at those are all about glitz), a couple of dress jackets, a few casual shirts, a bunch of camisoles, some belts, a couple of purses and scarves, and one sweater. (There were LOTS of sweaters but I don't wear them often; the one I took was just too nice to resist, and a lovely forest green.) And one white jacket and skirt; I don't have the faintest idea when I might need such a wardrobe item, but when the time comes I'll be ready! I looked at the hats but they didn't fit, and I knew going in that the shoes weren't the right size.
The weekend after next will bring another new life experience; going to the wedding of the younger of Marian's granddaughters. The following weekend is another for
jesse_in_boston The weddings will be interesting because there will be lots of people I don't know; the groom's family at the first one (I've met most of the bride's family on other occasions), both families at the second, plus friends who know them from social circles other than the ones I am in. I don't expect hostility, but I can't help wondering how accepted I will be... will I be included in the womens' gossip circles? Will the men ask me to dance? (I'm also open to invitations to dance with the women, but mostly weddings don't go that way.) I had to get advice on what to wear; fortunately I've already got some suitable dresses and shoes. (The stuff I got from Caitlin's collection included two dresses but neither are right for this occasion; either I missed the other ones that I would have liked or our taste in dresses was just too different. And I had to reject a couple because they didn't fit.) I could use a hat but that's a challenge; most women's hats are too small for my head. (Insert joke here about having a big head.)
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Date: 2011-05-18 12:44 pm (UTC)As a GG, I say it's difficult to generalize! My "getting ready for a party" type of becoming a girl (the longest process in my portfolio) would barely register on some girls' "just get out of bed and ready to go shopping" grooming routine; I don't wear much makeup (I don't like it,) have a hairstyle that requires only a good brushing and either a hairband or nice clips, and generally unfussy clothing. Some perfume, choice of jewelry, and I'm done.
I contrast that with my sister-in-law who goes to big charity galas at least one a month, and posts notes about the choice of gowns, getting hair stylists to come to her hotel room, etc.